As If A Beast


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Brother Song 03:20
Keeps a luminous choir in his open hand to exalt the newborn tongue breathless. At the summit of sleep he devours his ends to confer with the earthworms restless. Tenth in a line of hopjaws and jokers. Guards of the secret umbrella report. In a parliament of light he hides out and glows. In the parlance of moons he’s a hatching egg. In the workshop of never he is always. In the blue bedroom of death he shivers tiny but grows. Not in principle form unmistakable indeterminate amaranthine.
Hair Planet 03:03
The ragged edge. The sucking pore. At the sink raw on your elbows. It’s not your skin they broke it isn’t skin at all. And the glassy surface of the lake is just lake. When the sand is the mountain be the sand. When the mouse is a lion it’s a mouse. When the sun is your bed don’t shy don’t blink. When your bed is the sea don’t sink don’t swim. When the sea spits you up don’t tire. I see you little flea just a small and fledgling thing. Blown pollen oh you mote with improbable frequency you rise.
Paperweight 02:22
Stow. Weigh. To spell out what you’re spilling. To scratch out all that you’re made of. Make it sharp as a tooth. Hold revoke replay. Burrow all the way. Rage, resent. Don’t stop when you see blood. Hold revoke replay. Show us what you do. Rage resent. To spell out what you’re spilling. To scratch out all that you’re made of. Say it’s practice. Play for real points.
Shock Layer 03:12
Torn sail. Scarred hull. Wet glass. Last breath. I’m not ready for the rushing sound. I’m not ready for the unfamiliar scale. Solar wind. Dark light. Zero blue. Lost count. I’m not ready for the crushing wail. I’m not ready for the unforgiving soil. Disassembly come in from the breaking cold. Remember me the shape that I couldn’t hold. What I still see make way for the body I could never be. Make way for the body. Right back home.
Scrape away the crust of freezer burn. Heat to thaw the shivers you’ve interred. I’m not pleading with you - but. Shapeless heart that cannot spell it out. Carrion to thrill a hungry mouth. I’m not pleading with you - but. In tin and bone in bone and clay in clay and steel in sand and heat in heat and stone in stone and clay let it heal over. The shadow signs that guard the door and hold your face down to the floor are never going to let you go you know. Tidal wave of acid flux. Disconnect to sabotage. Grind to pulp on battered wheel. Imitate but never feel. I’m not pleading with you.
Static left no trace. Emptied. Revoke all notions. Displaced. Detach unhearing. Erase. Panic panic repeat. It’s the embers. See the underside. What a horror.
All this time we were fighting the wrong side. We were fighting with our hands over our eyes. Circling joyful marauders we throw our arms up we cast our sights off. What was it that we were looking after anyways? What do you care? What do we care? Another sure shot rings out. Pry back my lips til my teeth shine like shattered glass. Unclench my fists and take a good look in the mirror. Is this what it feels like? Is this what you feel like? It’s a tough life but with nice light and a pink cheek - can you explain? With the banal GO GET HAPPY close devouring WASH THE BLUES OUT tender urgency of other peoples’ days and the lasting GO GET HAPPY understandable WASH THE BLUES OUT wish in blood and guts and sweat for another way that’s not another way.
Pull the towel from under the door frame. Free yourself. Take whatever’s ancient and small with you. Leave the shape held down by the mattress. Feed yourself on the glue trap out in the hall. Build yourself a boat and go. When he calls to tell you he’s drowning stay dry. If she comes back looking for more. Keep close the day you pissed yourself laughing and stayed dry. Cling to the slender writ of the shore. Build yourself a boat and go. Drop the sieve into the sea drop the scales into the sea and swim. Learn to let your full lungs be twin studies in trembling no more. NO MORE.


AS IF A BEAST / 2017


released January 17, 2017

THANK YOU: Hume, Toni, Nina, Hans Jr., beloved friends + family.

Recorded at Ratspace Toronto December 2015.
Produced and engineered by SPOILS. Adam plays Paiste cymbals.


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SPOILS Toronto, Ontario

SPOILS is a four-piece post-punk band from Toronto.


griffin - guitars/vox
bryan - guitars/vox
sean - bass

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